I’ve tried to enter this publishing year with a better attitude and mindset. I figure if I have a good attitude about things, maybe that will translate better than presenting the way I actually feel about this whole writing thing. I can’t call it a profession. I make enough each month to maybe pay one bill. And being that we’re still in winter, it’s not the electric bill. I told myself I was going to remain positive even when deep down I want to crawl into a hole and leave all the promo and social media and disappointment behind.
I did okay until my first book of the year, The Philth Pig, dropped. It all came flooding back. The self-doubt spurred on by lackluster sales and very low interest. It was a very difficult week, when that book came out. I was in a low place, wondering why I do this to myself. The toll on my mental health a book release causes seems to get worse with each goddamned release. Will it ever go away? I would like to think that I wouldn’t feel this way if there was more than just a little interest in something I’ve put so much time and energy into. When Thunderstorm Books published the signed/limited edition of Mojave Mud Caves and it sold out in under twenty-four hours I was over the moon. I try to siphon hope from the memory of that feeling.
I appreciate everyone who has read not only The Philth Pig, but any of my books and enjoyed them enough to write a review or post on social media or reach out personally. Those moments are what make all of this worth it, to know that something I’ve written gave someone a bit of entertainment, an escape from reality.
It’s often difficult to know where I stand in the horror publishing biz. I feel like I could disappear, and no one would notice. That’s probably what will happen someday, but for now I am fully dedicated to this venture, despite how awful I feel when I release a new book. I absolutely love writing. I love telling stories. I love the creative outlet. I love stretching my imagination. As long as I’m going to write, I am going to publish.
I hadn’t intended on writing anything like this in the newsletter this year. Remember, I was going to keep everything positive. Fake it till I make it. Yeah, well fuck that. There are a lot of other writers out there who feel exactly like I do, and I want them to know they’re not alone.
Welcome to Confusions, Delusions, and Formidable Impressions!
News
As mentioned in the opening, my new book, The Philth Pig, is out!
“This is a brilliantly dark and bizarre short story from Robert, different from anything else I've read by him, in the best way!” - No ReMorse Reviews
“Reading The Philth Pig is like listening to a Pink Floyd album while possessing unsavory thoughts. It’s a psychedelic trip down the White Rabbit horror hole that leads to a strange and unexpected place.” - Horror Bookworm Reviews
“The Philth Pig is a page-turner, a solid and gripping story with pseudo-vampirism, dark suspense, and brilliant levels of subtext and symbolism.” - Bibliophilia Templum
Recent Reads from Hell
I just finished Dying Sheep by Jesse D’Angelo. This is a fast paced, brutal serial killer story like you’ve never read. It’s like a slasher movie with a demented, psycho version of Mike Tyson in Hell. Well, something like that. If you’re into high octane storytelling and lots of blood and guts, this one is for you.
I’m still working through Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Enjoying it, but I’ve been getting locked into other books and neglecting it. I’m also starting Throwback by Mark Manley.
Closing Words
Nothing to write here. It was all covered at the front end of the newsletter. I do promise something fun in the next edition. Maybe a short story. maybe an interview. Something to look forward to. Until then, read horror and tell the masses about it!
I relate to this so much:
"It’s often difficult to know where I stand in the horror publishing biz. I feel like I could disappear, and no one would notice."