The 55th Delusion

Master, MASTER!

We bought an RV in 2020. It wasn’t a Covid thing—people were buying RVs like crazy at that time, being it was a form of entertainment that was solitary in a time of quarantine. We thought we would explore the Smokies more and do some camping. Funny thing was a lot of the Smokies was closed due to Covid. I mean, you could drive through the mountains, but the camp sites were all closed. I don’t know. It was weird. We’d go into the mountains and see not a soul, so we figured germs were in short supply out there.

Fast forward to this weekend and someone is very likely taking the thing off our hands. It was a bad investment, bottom line. We never used it. It needed some work, and we had plans, but shit happens. Next thing you know the battery is dead. Then I get a new battery and the brakes don’t work. Then it sits there for a few years. I hate taking a loss on it, but at this point we just want the RV off the property. If the guy who is super excited about it gets it off the property, that will be a win for both of us. But ultimately a loss of money for us. But no big deal. That was money spent four years ago. Money that’s long gone. Sometimes you have to take an L and move on.

I’m sure I could somehow relate that to writing, like how some books don’t sell at all and you just have to write the next one and hope it does better, but I’m just going to move on. Welcome to Confusions, Delusions, and Formidable Impressions!

News

My latest offering, Master of Bodies, is now up for preorder. In a TikTok video I explained that I want to get 100 pre-orders before the release date of Oct. 1st. Judging by the number of pre-orders I’ve gotten . . . I might have been a bit too excited. As of this writing, I have ten pre-orders. That isn’t shit, but I’ve never done well with pre-orders. My best was Death Obsessed, which got 29. That was many years ago. My worst was Broth House, which got five—I don’t remember having that book on pre-order, so I probably didn’t even promote it. And since then, Broth House has become one of the top sellers.

So how about pre-ordering Master of Bodies to help me reach that stretch goal of 100? Let’s be real, I’d be excited just to beat my previous best.

What if you could bring the dead back to life?

What would you do?

Kipp discovers his special talent at his grandmother’s funeral. And oh what a talent it is. No one ever looks at him the same afterward. Eventually he forgets about what he can do . . . until tragedy strikes again and again.

Kipp is a magnet for tragedy.

Sometimes bringing the dead back to life isn’t what it’s all chalked up to be. With great power is great responsibility, but Kipp isn’t the most responsible guy out there. He tries. He’s even found a woman who is crazy about him, despite the oddness in his demeanor. You’d be a little odd too if you could do what Kipp does.

Everything is great until the moment tragedy strikes, and it always seems to be there hiding in the shadows of Kipp’s twisted reality.

What would you do if YOU could bring the dead back to life?

Two weekends ago was TBR Con here in Knoxville, TN. It was a great time. Probably the best convention I’ve been to all year. This has not been a good year for conventions. I’ve been realizing that I cannot sell my books in person. I don’t have the skills it takes to do so. I’m not a fucking car salesman and never will be and I’m certainly not outgoing. People in the community always talk about how introverted we all are but I’m not so sure about that. I struggle with events a lot. Hell, I struggle with human interaction a lot. I hate that about myself. Despite all that, I had a great time at this event. I got to see people I’ve become friends with and made some new friends. I think events such as TBR and Scares That Care are important for writers and readers alike, but I just don’t know if I have it in me to keep doing them. But that’s something for another newsletter. I will most certainly be attending TBR next year. And I suggest you do, too, whether you’re a writer or a reader.

Recent Reads from Hell

I haven’t been reading as much lately. I have been selling vintage paperbacks on Etsy, which, along with my own writing, has depleted much of my reading time. Once I get everything listed and sold on Etsy, I’m done selling vintage paperbacks . . . again.

I’m reading Folktale by Tony Evans and loving it! Also reading Cold Moon Over Babylon by Michael McDowell and loving that one too.

Final Thoughts

My wife and I went to see Beetlejuice Beetlejuice on Saturday night. This is only the fourth movie I’ve seen in the theater in the past five years. If I had more money, I’d see more movies in the theater. Maybe. I’m not entirely sure if it’s the cost, the potential for some dickhead to talk or smell like a dancing mule, someone incessantly sniffling away the cold or flu they’re exposing the audience to, or even the oniony odor of a grinder or burrito smuggled in—or maybe just shitty Hollywood movies—but something about the whole theater experience put a bad taste in my mouth years ago and it has lingered there to this day.

I enjoyed the new Beetlejuice movie about as much as I hoped. Some of it really hit the spot and other parts lacked the heart and soul of classic Tim Burton films. I think my enjoyment was purely nostalgia based. I’m generally not a fan of sequels. Too often they merely rehash what was good about the original without really doing something new. This movie certainly did a lot of that.

It was fun. And really that was all I could ask for. One thing I found strange was my wife and I were laughing way more than anyone else in the theater. There were several parts we thought were funny that no one laughed at. And other parts that weren’t funny that everyone laughed at. This further confirms that I am deviating away from society at a rapid rate. Which is to say I’m getting old. I guess it’s like when one of the younger guys I work with shows me some video that’s supposed to be funny and I just don’t get it. They have to then explain it, and I often still don’t get the humor. Whatever. I stopped giving shits a while back.

Anyway, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was fun. It didn’t take itself seriously at all, as it shouldn’t have. And I didn’t take it seriously either.

Until next time . . . read horror and tell the world about it!

*Update—dude bought the RV.